I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
