NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize