1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
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