I hate all girls vehemently.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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