Soap is not a condiment
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
