Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
