i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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