Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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