I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize