My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Randomize
