Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Randomize
