Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
