I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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