Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
