can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize