this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
