i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize