Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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