Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
We won't sleep together?
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
