Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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