you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
