Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Hippo gnu deer
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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