Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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