I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
