I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
