I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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