Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize