At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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