I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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