Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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