i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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