My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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