people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
