After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
