So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
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It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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