He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
