what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
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