D3 body, D1 cock
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
