We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
