to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
