At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Randomize
