We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
