I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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