we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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