I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
