no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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