You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
