Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
