This is not my ceiling
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
