i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
