he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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