shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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