Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
