He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
