also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
How does it feel to date your dad?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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