I think my vagina is haunted
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
