Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
